


Cry out loud

by Dexilt



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Action, Baldroy - Freeform, Ciel is 14 years, Ciel is a bit depressed, Ciel is a bit older, Ciel is a bit suicidal, Ciel is very flustred, Ciel keeps his love a secret, Confession, Dancing, Drama, Elizabeth goes insane, Elizabeth tries to win Ciel back, Finnian - Freeform, Kuroshitsuji - Freeform, Mention of past Sebastian/Claude, Mey-rin - Freeform, Minor Claude Faustus/Alois Trancy, Other, Romance, SEBASTIAN - Freeform, SebaCiel - Freeform, Sebastian doesnt want Ciels soul anymore, Sebastian is concerned, Sebastian teaches, The ending of season 2 never happened, alois trancy - Freeform, ciel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-05 06:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11008254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dexilt/pseuds/Dexilt
Summary: Ciel is depressed about something. But no one understand what. Everytime his butler is around, Ciel gets awfully quiet. Sebastian starts to go crazy over his young lord, and Ciel tries everything to keep quiet. But Sebastian doesn't give up easily.   Sebastian has special feelings for his lord, and being shut out by Ciel, hurts. But what the butler doesn't know, is that Ciel feels the same.





	1. Whats wrong,  My lord?

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah! I have been watching alot of Anime lately and I literally couldn't avoid kuroshitsuji... I ship Sebaciel so bad... I haven't been uploading in a while because eveeytime i write something, it disappears wich is very annoying and i stopped trying. Bur know I think I know how to prevent that from happening!

The little boy was sitting behind his desk, looking at the papers that he was holding. He showed no interest in them, and the man all in black noticed. His young master didn't talk so much anymore, and he had broken Elisabeths heart in the must cruel way possible. No one of the two wanted to remember how Ciel had holded a knife to her chest and screamed in her face how he hated her, how he wanted her to leave and never come back. 

"my lord, do you want anything?" Sebastian asked. Ciel just looked at him, staring at him with that blue eye who had such a nicw color, like the depth of the sea. But no words left the young master, he remained quiet and only stared at his butler. 

Sebastian slowly started to walk towards the door, having a worried expression on his face. The demon didn't want to believe about what had happened towards Ciel. The butler really wanted the little kid back. Maybe not to when he was happy and running around laughing, he just wanted the boy who loved to solve missons and talk crap about everyone. It was alot more fun. Now, he just walks around, staring down in the floor. And one time, Mey-rin caught him holding a knife to his wrist. Sebastian had started to understand what was going on. His master was deeply depressed. Why? Even the demon couldn't figure it out. 

"Did I tell you to leave?" 

Ciels voice echoed in the room as he had opened his mouth. His voice sounded dead and cold, even a little bir hurt. It was mixed with so many emotions, that Sebastian never ever thought about counting them. The man in black just turned around to look his master in his eye, and walked back again, standing next to Ciel.

"No, my lord"

Sebastian put a hand on his chest and bowed his head a bit. His eyes were closed, but he could sense how Ciel stared at him. When Sebastian opened his eyes, he saw that Ciel was stretching out his hand towards him. His hand that looked so smooth and pale, stretched to him, unsure if he really could touch the butler or not. And the expression on Ciels face, it was just screaming out what he was thinking. Why was Ciel so afraid to grab him? What had happened? Ciel did what he wanted, no one could tell him to stop.

"My lord?"

Ciel slowly draged his hand back again to grab the papers he had placed on the desk. The boy looked down pretending to read. But it was pretty obvious that he didn't. 

"Sebastian, you may leave"

The butler didn't respond, he just walked away towards the door and laid his hand on the doorknob. He hesitated, but soon he opened the door and went outside. He went to the kitchen, only to find the chef holding a knife that was red och heat, against a piece of meat.

"Just what are you doing?!" 

"I tought the meat would get ready faster if i used this hot knife on it..." 

Sebastian just stared at him with a blank expression. Bard started to understand it was a pretty crappy idea and started to slowly put the knife away. Sebastian sighed at the chef.

The scene played over and over in the butlers head. He couldn't stop thinking about how his master had wanted to touch him, but hesitaded. How his master had barely been speaking to him. The master seemed kind of fine with speaking to the others. But if Sebastian wad involved in any way, his master always went quite. The butler had started to wonder if the young lord was getting afraid about the contract, but why would he? Ciel had never been regretting it before. Why now all of a sudden? And Ciel had problems sleeping at night, and it looked like he always was wondering about something. But what?!

"Uh, Sebastian? You are pouring over..."

The words woke up Sebastian and he looked down. The water was pouring over the cup who was already full. Sebastian immediately stopped and looked on the water. It was running from the cup, and down the drawers. 

"Sebastian, are you okay?" 

Sebastian ignored the chef and just walked away. Leaving the tea there. He knew that it was a very bad choice, and it wasn't so a butler would do. But he didn't care right now. He had to talk to Ciel. This was going crazy.


	2. Hold me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian wants to find out about what is happening with Ciel at bed -time. But Ciel stays quiet and tries to hide everything. The butler doesn't understand why, but Ciel gives him all these strange orders...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah! I think its working out with this new fanfic. Its pretty funny to write, and I would love to hear your reaction to it! But I have many tests coming up, again...

His footsteps echoed in the hallway as he walked. He really didn't want to be rude to his master, but he had to know why Ciel wouldn't want to talk to him. Sure, the boy was going through alot right now, but that is not an excuse to leave out his own butler. Sebastian had been doing everything for him. He wanted at least something in return. Yeah sure, he was getting the boy soul someday... But something more wasn't too much to ask about! 

Right?

Sebastian sighed quiet to himself as he knocked on the door to Ciels room where he would be waiting to get his night -tea. But no one answered the door. Not a single word reached the demons ears. Sebastian knocked once more on the cold door made of dark wood, waiting for his master to answer. "My lord?" Sebastian called and placed his hand on the doorknob. Not a sound was made and the butler started to get slightly worried. Ciel had a love for getting captured after all...

Sebastian opened the door and stepped inside. He looked first at the bed, who was placed against the wall. It was empty. it still looked nice and not a pillow or even the blankets seemed to have been touched. Beside the bed, there was a letter. Sebastian couldn't see what was said on it, but it seemed important. In the corner of his eye, he saw something grey-blue laying on the ground. He turned over, only to see his master laying on the carpet, staring up in the roof. He still had his eye-patch on and hadn't changed himself for the night, wich meant that the boy had been waiting for his butler to tuck him in. Sebastian smiled a little to himself when the thought of Ciel waiting for him hit. But Ciel seemed so...gone right now. His eyes were filled with color, but still his gaze was empty. His hand were placed on his belly, while the other was laying straight out over the floor.

"My lord?"

As Sebastian speaked, Ciel twitched. The boy who previously had seemed so calm, was now breathing quicker and harder. The younger boy hadn't noticed his butler walking closer to him,since he had been so caught up in his own thoughts. Ciel quietly swore to himself for not noticing.

"My lord, are you alright?" 

"Yes Sebastian! Im fine!"  
The words came out more angrily then thought. Ciel started to regret it immediately and shame was building up in his face. The blue-eyed boy started to bite his lip as he quickly sat up and stared the demon right into his red eyes that seemed to be glowing for some reason.

"You are obviously not, My Lord"

Something about Sebastians look made Ciel shiver slightly. He felt like he had been caught doing something inappropriate, well, he kinda did get caught... Sebastian just didn't know what it was he was doing. And Ciel had no plans on ever telling the freaking demon who was going to eat his soul, and never think about him again. 'Life sucks, if you even can call this life ' Ciel grinned slightly. 

"Well,Sebastian...I was doing just fine...Until YOU showed up...Now please...Just..T-Tuck me into bed...Would you?"

Ciel blushed and looked down from his butler, feeling a little embarrassed about asking a demon to fucking tuck him into bed like he was a little kid who couldn't sleep without mommy or daddy singing him to sleep and kiss him goodnight or something. 

Sebastian only looked at his master, slightly confused. Where did all of that came from? Wasn't Ciel afraid of him? Didn't he wanted Sebastian to stay away? What the hell is going on? Why is Ciel even depressed? All of those questions floated around in the demons head as he tried to come up with a solution to all of this madness. His master, who never cared about what Sebastian really thought, and never cared about giving him orders (whatever it was he was never afraid to tell them) and now suddenly, he was even blushing! Like, Ciel, blushing at just giving him a simple order?! Nuh uh. 

"Just don't stand there and stare on me. Its rude"

"Yes, My lord. Sorry"

As Sebastian carefully grabbed the teenage boy and started to carry him, Ciel burried his face in the the butlers clothes. Not knowing why, Sebastian just kept caring him towards the bed and sat the kid down, slowly starting to undress him so he could take on his sleeping shirt instead. When he was staring to wrap the piece of clothing around his master, he noticed that Ciel had turned red. Sebastian gave him a concerned look.

"Master, are you sick or something? Your hole face is red..."

Ciels eye got wide opened as he started to flax his arms around like a bird who was learning to fly. "No no nononono!! Im fine!!" Ciel yelled out. Sebastian obviously didn't believe him. But he let it go. He knew that the boy wouldn't speak to him, even if he tried. 

"Tell me tomorrows plans..." 

"Well, tomorrow we will first try to find a good suit to fit you. You have grown quite a bit. And in the evening, their will be hold a dance that you will attend to at Elizabeth. So I will have a lecture with you in dancing moves just before we leave. Even if you already are a great dancer, there are still moves i think you have to learn, young master"

Sebastian told him, with a calm voice as he started to untie the eyepatch that covered his masters eye. The pentacle become fully visible and Sebastian stared on it for a while. Ciel didn't seem to get offended, since he looked back at Sebastians red eyes. They started to glow more and more, until they slowly started to fade again. 

"Sebastian...?" 

"Yes, My Lord?"

"C-Could you...S-S-Stay with me...tonight?" 

"How so, Master? I thought you didn't like the thought of me since you really don't wanna talk about me, and you get so...Strange when Im around you. Do you ha-"

Ciel slapped Sebastian right on the cheek while he was in his mid-sentence. The boy had had enough of Sebastian talking about him being wierd. Like, why? He wasn't that flustered...right? Who the hell knows...?

"How dare you, Sebastian? Im your master. And you are under my command. I need you. And you know that. And I dont hate you. Please dont think I do"

Sebastian was stunned. Those words were soft like a little ball of cotten and sounded as sweet as sugar. They were warm, just like the sun on a summer day. And they weren't filled with disgust. Just a tiny bit of anger. The boy stared back.

"just...tuck me in already..." 

Sebastian only nodded and started to slowly lay his master down, placing his head softly on the the pillows. Ciels eyes closed as the blankets were rapped around him, making fim feel like a little raindeer who was safely sleeping against his mother while hiding in the depths of the dark forest were all kinds of dangers existed. As soon as Ciel was tucked in,Sebastian stood up again, but was quickly draged down again by his master.

"Dont go. Sit here. Next to me. Until...I fall asleep" 

"Yes, My lord" 

Ciel smiled but it was impossible to see since Sebastian blew the light out, making it dark in the night. This gave even Sebastian time to think. He was trying to put the puzzle pieces together, but it didn't seem to work. Nothing seemed to work. The demon started to loose hope. Why was Ciel depressed? Was it because of the contract? His sucky life? Had something happend? 

"Sebastian...?" 

"Yes..?"

"Hold me"

"Why should I hold you, Master? Are you afraid of something?" 

"No I am NOT! Just...hold me, Sebastian" 

"Mas-"

"That's an order!" 

The last three words were wispered into the dark, but Ciel could here them clearly. The arms of the demon grabbed him and gently placed the boy in his arms. He holded Ciel thightly to him, feeling every heartbeat that the little heart of the boy made, and every time Ciels chest raised, he knew that his master was alive and breathing. Ciel burried his face into Sebastian and started to drag in his smell.

"Yes...My lord"


	3. Can a demon love a human?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the ball, something strikes Lizzy while she tries to win Ciels heart back. Ciel and Sebastian cuddles a bit, and they are being asked the big question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapther! Whop whop! Yeah, thanks for all of the support! Im really glad! And I hope you enjoy the story so far!

The morning sun were peeking through the curtains and entered the room where Ciel was sleeping. He didn't wanna open his eyes to be greeted to a new day, he just wanted to keep sleeping in the soft bed, surrounded by sheets of silk that pressed against his skin. He felt someone draging a finger over his chin, petting him carefully. The finger was cold, but didn't feel all too bad. The boy really didn't want to get up now. His breathing was so smooth and his heart didn't pound so hard. No loud noises hit him. But can someone please fix the curtains?!

"Time to wake up, My lord"

His eyes got wide opened when he realized who it was with him. He remembered what had happened last night. The fucking demon, who just happened to be named Sebastian, were lying next to him, petting him softly. Okay, now it just felt weird.

"Oh, Im sorry My Lord? Did I starttle you?"

Ciel didn't move, his back was turned against the demon. But still Sebastian could sense that Ciel was awake. Oh humans, never can pretend anything by the weird vibes they always sends out somehow. 

"My Lord? Should I leave?"

Ciel turned to him, showing the butler his face that had a slightly shade of pink. Barely noticeable. And the boy stared at his butler for a while, without saying anything. His words were stuck in his brain,and he couldn't open his mouth to speak. He felt numb in his hole body. Until finally, one word slipped his lips and entered the ears of his butler.

"Sebastian..." 

The butler was a bit stunned that it took so long for the human to say anything. And Sebastian could see in his masters eye,that he wished for something. But didn't dare to ask... Something Sebastian had learned to spot for a long time ago, and now he finally had good use of it.

"Yes, My Lord?" 

"Do we really have to go to the ball? I mean, its Elizabeth we are talking about. I don't think -"

"My Lord, you have to move on. It looks like Elizabeth did. And it would also be a great opportunity to apologize" 

"Tsk, there is nothing to apologize for! I meant every word"

Sebastian knew that his master didn't lie. The demon knew how much the boy hated Elizabeth. The hatred were so big, he didn't even see the end of it. And Ciel never wanted to tell anyone why. There were so much Ciel Phantomhive was hiding. And Sebastian wasn't so sure, if Ciel even was human anymore. He was completely insane. Sebastian couldn't help but to feel sorry for his master. 

"You are going" 

"No! Sebastian!" 

"I'll do anything" 

"You will stop trying to figure out everything about me! I don't want you to know! I don't want you to find out...!"

Ciel started to scream and even cry a bit, making Sebastian feel a little scared even. He never saw the boy like this. And whats with all of this blushing?! Why was his master always red like a tomato in his face?!"

"Master, Stay home. I think you're sick. You are red in your face. And miserable"

"T-Thanks...Sebastian" 

Sebastian laid his master down in a comfortable position in his large bed. The sunlight grew and Sebastian had to cover up his windows with a blanket. The demon sat next to his master, petting him slowly on his soft hair. Ciel seemed to enjoy it by some reason. Sebastian didn't really get what was up with his master.

"Sebastian?" 

"Yes?" 

"I will go to the stupid ball..."

"That's great, but its to late for your lesson now. We must have it at the ball..."

"Fine...Whatever..."

Ciel muttered as he looked on the demon that wad laying next to him. He just peeked on Sebastian over his shoulder, and he saw that Sebastian smiled at him. Looking a bit happy for some reason...  
"What?" Ciel asked, getting kind of creeped out by his butler. His blue eye still had that glimt in it,even if it had started to fade. Sebastian noticed and stopped smiling.  
"Nothing, My Lord. But you have to get up. Otherwise, you will become late"

Sebastian said as he climbed out of the bed and sat down on the floor, waiting for Ciel to come out from the bed too so the butler could change his clothes. And just like any other day,Ciel looked bored af and climbed out of bed, and stood infront oh his butler who slowly started to unbutton the night cloth. Sebastian hands now and then, (by accident) touched Ciels warm skin wich made the boy shiver. As the butler were supposed to unbotten the last two buttons, his hand was almost touching at a place Ciel really didn't want his butler to accidentally touch. The boy started to get red in his face again. Luckily, Sebastian was staring down and couldn't notice the boy's face. Sebastian removed the shirt from his master, and cold air hit his skin. Sebastian quickly started to dress Ciel in the most lovely costumes. And last, he tied his eyepatch to hide the boys eye that had their pentacle. 

When Sebastian had made Ciel breakfast, they got into the waggon and soon they were off to Elizabeth. Ciel really didn't want to do this. But he had to attend, otherwise people would start to think lowely of him. He just had to avoid Elizabeth as much as possible. It wouldn't be so hard. She probably hates him alot and just wanted to see if he would actually wanna come. Ugh... Women

"My Lord? Is something wrong? You haven't said a word since breakfast" 

"I'm fine Sebastian..."

Ciels voice sounded bored and tired. The butler noticed how much the boy looked forward to this. Zero. He didn't look forward to this at all. The demon sighed and just leaned back on his seat again, staring out the window and thinking about how the hell Ciel would ever survive this shit. 

When they arrived, Elizabeth was waiting for Ciel and Sebastian at the door. She looked happy, but her eyes showed that she was scared as fuck. The boy understood why. He had been holding to a knife to her chest after all...

It had all happened with that Sebastian brought in a big cake, and Elizabeth couldn't stop talking about how beautiful it was. She never even tasted it. Just comment after comment. And then on the dance, she tried to learn Ciel how to dance. She was the worst teacher of all times. Telling him that he was great! But sucked at every move. Then she complained about his clothes. And after that, she wanted to have a sleep over at Ciel. She whined like hell about it, even when he said no. She got so angry, that at dinner, she even started to through food at him. She knew a lady wasn't supposed to do that. But she just had too. Ciel was so tired of her, that he threw her out. She were knocking on the door for two hours straight until she finally started to leave. Only to return the next week and started all over...

"Smile Ciel!"

"Don't step on my foot, Ciel!"

"Hm! That's not how to treat a woman, Ciel!"

"Help me Ciel!"

"Forget about your duties and have fun with me instead!" 

Ciel was so annoyed at the end, that he took a big knife and holded it against her chest. Screaming in her face.

"You stupif whore! I can't take your shity whining anymore! Like, who the fuck even wants to be friends with you?! NOBODY! You are so full of yourself! You don't even care about me! So go to hell!! Leave and never come back! If you do...I will send Sebastian after you..."

He got away from her, and she runned home crying. And one last thing he did, was to break the engagement with Elizabeth. He would die either way. He didn't care about a stupid girl who can't even save a bird, just because she always have to look herself in the mirror. Ciel wanted to throw up.

When he walked past her, he ignored her. Just walking like she wasn't even there. Sebastian noticed that his master really wasn't that comfortable with Elizabeth yet. And he will never be again. End of story. 

Elizabeth turned to look at Ciel,and let out a small 'huh' while grabbing his arm, wich made Ciel stop immediately. Sebastian stared at her with those demon eyes as he waited for one of the two humans next move. The butler had a close eye on her now. If she made anything that would hurt Ciel, or say something. She would be dead in less then a second.

"Ciel,I'm ready to forgive you. Please don't ignore me. You know...I really like-"

"Stop right there,Elizabeth" 

Ciels voice made her eyes widened. He still had his back turned to her, and his eye were closed as he started to go through everything he could say to her in this moment. He really didn't want Elizabeth to be his wife. Yuck... And see still wanted to be with him? She wants to forgive him? Haha,No way

"Leave me alone, wont you? Come on Sebastian..." 

Ciel grabbed his butler and started to drag the man in black away from there. Ciel didn't look back or anything. Just walking straight forward. He had something on his mind he really wanted to get out. So he finally stopped, turned around and looked the demon right into his red eyes that seemed to be glowing. He didn't dare to ask. But somehow, the words slipped his tongue just like a piece of soap never lies still when you lay it down on a wet surface. Wet...A word that explains Ciel Phantomhive every night when he thinks of his butler.

"Give me that lesson now, wont you?"

Sebastian looked shocked at first, but soon he was smiling towards the young lord. The violon music started and filled the big ball room with its beautiful tunes. It made Ciels heart skip a beat. Sebastian smiling, to the most beautiful music in the world. Wooow...

"Yes, My Lord"

As they grabbed each other, Ciel started to get all flustered and feeling nervous. His face turned red. Sebastian hands fell so smoothly over him. And just feeling the demon so close to him, made him shiver. The feeling was so brutal, but still so...Nice. Like it made his heart want to stop, but still kept going cause it had something to fight for. His brain started to mess everything up, but his dance moves still went good. Sebastian gave no signs that he felt the same as the boy did. Wich made Ciel feel a little bit of disappointed. But could a demon even... love? Probably not. And telling the demon his feelings? That would just make the demon laugh and hate Ciel. Telling him that he is a dumb shit. That wouldn't be so good. Its best to not tell anyone. 

"Excuse me, I will take over"

Elizabeth smiled as she pushed the demon away, and quickly grabbed Ciel as she started to dance with him. The younger boys expression changed drastically, as he felt rage building up.

"Elizabeth, what the actual fuck are you thinking?" 

"That I want you back!"

"Im not coming back!"

"I can prove to you that I am good enough for you...~"

"H-How the hell-?"

"I can prove it right now. Just follow me to my bedroom and I will show you"

Ciel threw her away at the side and got next to Sebastian with a disgusting look. Sebastian didn't look pleased either. No one talked like that to bocchan. No one!

"Seriously Elizabeth?! I hate you!"

Ciel holded onto Sebastian. Elizabeth studied his look, his hold on the butler. Something were not right...he never clinged like that on anybody. And the look Ciel had on Sebastian... And Sebastian had always been overprotective with Ciel, but putting an arm around him just like that?! And Ciel blushing?!?!? 

"Oh, I see..."

She started. Her voice dropped as it came to her. It was obvious, why didn't she notice it before? Those two...

"I didn't know Demons could love...And I never knew that you would fall for a demon, Ciel"

She walked away, leaving the two boys stunned. Sebastian didn't know what she meant. And Ciel, just tried tp figure out how the hell she knew he liked Sebby. But what was it with that part that Sebastian liked him back?

Can demons love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the dirty jokes...   
> (not)   
> 0_0


	4. True or False?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little trip that forces the two to talk...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know,im weird! But tomorrow school ends! Yaaaay! well, happy reading!

"Sebastian, what is she...t-talking about...?!" 

Ciels voice were shaking a bit as he slowly closed his eyes, with his head turned to the butler bye his side. Ciel tried to hold his voice steady, but failed miserably. He just hoped that the demon with those red eyes wouldn't notice. 

"I don't know, My Lord"

Sebastian lied, because he knew that he 'liked' the young boy in a special way. Over the years, he had been getting closer and closer to the child. The trust between them, had tricked Sebastian to think that they could be more then just master and butler. Sebastians heart was on its edge to break, since the boy started to get...Nervous around him and avoided him. The butlers feelings often got in the way, and ended up almost breaking in into his young lords bedroom while he was asleep. Sometimes he even did. When he was sure Ciel was asleep, he came in and laid next to the young boy. And a couple hours before everyone else woke up, he slowly walked away leaving the boy. Once when Sebastian had laid down next to Ciel, the young boy had turned to him and curled up just intil Sebastian. The butler thought it was adorable, how Ciel seeked his protection even while he was sleeping. 

"Sebastian, let's uh... I just wanna go home. Can we leave yet?"

Deep, blue eyes stared into the demon. Sebastian saw that the boy was really uncomfortable with this situation. And not to mention, but Sebastian too felt like just leaving. 

"Yes,its getting quite late,My Lord"

The two boys searched up Elizabeth and said that they were leaving. Ciel told her he had been having lots of fun, but that was a complete lie. And she just nodded in response. Sebastian noticed that the girl had grabbed his master when they had started to walk away. 

"Ciel, you know I love you and only want you to be safe. So why? Why did you choose Sebastian? He is a demon that is out to get your soul! But... The way he looks at you...the way he... Touches you and cares for you... Ciel... That demon you have named and kept by your side seems to have...feelings for you. Special feelings. I dont trust demons, and neither should you. But...If he has some humanity in his heart, wich I actually think he do...Then he loves you. You can't hide it from me Ciel. That butler has poisened your mind. You want him. He wants you. Have you two confessed? Probably not... But I beg of you, Ciel. Don't let your heart get broken."

She whispered into Ciels ear as the boy stood just next to her. Ciel was like glued to the floor. He heard every word. He understood every word. But did he believe it? And what's the point with taking her advice and not let his heart get broken? Wasn't it already broken? Was it fixed? And what's the shit about Sebastian liking he back. He was a demon for the love of god! No demon had feelings. And especially not for small mortal humans like Ciel. Ciel couldn't keep his thoughts in line.

"What do you know anyway? Demons can't love. This is one-sided"

Ciel could feel how his heart started to beat faster, how his eyes filled up with tears. How did she even dare to say that a demon loved him back? Ciel always thought that demon had nothing to love with. They just didn't care. And he hated himself for loving Sebastian, because he knew,deep inside... That Sebastian would never belong to him that way. And it just hurt, why does it hurt so damn much? Can't it just end?! Oh, how he wanted the demon so badly... But he would never get Sebastian...

Ciel walked towards his demon who was waiting for him just a few stepd away. Ciel avoided eye contact with the demon and his eye was filled with sadness, anger and disappointment. He just left Elizabeth standing there, shoked. She just stared at him. She didn't want to belive thst Ciel thought like that about his butler. 

Sebastian still didn't move, and Ciel was almost at the door. He turned around, and saw the man in black standing there, looking at him. Sebastian wondered what miss Elizabeth had told the young lord to make him so upset. The red demon eyes was filled with something Ciel Phantomhive really didn't understand.   
"Sebastian! Why are you just standing there?! Come on!"

Sebastian quickly woke up from his daydreaming and soon he was opening the door for the young boy who Sebastian had so many questions to. But Ciel didn't lool like he wanted to be asked a lot of things. So they both quietly got into the wagon, and soon they were off.

Tears were streaming down the boys eyes as he stared into oblivion. Sebastian reached out a hand to wipe the young lords tears away, but Ciel just slapped hid hand away and looked him straight unto the eyes. 

"Leave me alone, Sebastian" 

Those words came out cold as ice. And Sebastian felt his demon heart breaking apart. No...This was wrong. This wasn't good at all. He didn't like this. 

"My young lord -"

"I said leave me alone,Sebastian!" 

"Please -"

"shut up!"

"My-"

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Sebastian got quite as he watched the boys tears stream down more and more. And soon, small sobbs came out. Ciel was a total mess. The butler had never seen his master that upset. What had Elizabeth said? Was it something that had triggered something inside of the boy? Something to do with his weird behavior. And why did he seek so much of Sebastian attention? Was Ciel getting hurt or threatened behind his back?! Could that even happen?

Ciel wanted the demon. So bad. But Sebastian was a freaking demon after all. Ciels butler would probably just laugh at him, or maybe kill him right at the spot. Sebastian could start to toy with him. Or tease. The young boy knew that Sebastian was out of his rank. And to think that Sebastian would never want him, could never really love him. And that Elizabeth now started to say that Sebastian liked him back tho she could never ever figure that out. He is no human. He is a demon.   
Their love was not allowed. 

"Why...?"

Ciel sobs as he looks down. His thoughts running wild. 

"WHY CAN'T YOU NEVER UNDERSTAND?! Please, Sebastian...Please..." 

Sebastian stared at his master. Who was crying right infront of him. Did Ciel dare to show weakness infront of him? Since when...!?

"My Lo-. Ciel"

Sebastian started, and the boy was already listening to him, with his eyes closed. His sobbs got more quiet and Sebastian smiled a bit when he understood what the boy had meant. He just needed to have someone there for him in the moment. Someone he trusted.

"Im always by your side. Have you already forgotten that?"

"N-No....I"

"Then why are you crying...?"

"Because...I can't...I can't.." 

"What do you mean, My- I mean, Ciel"

"Sebastian... I can't tell you. All that I can tell you is to wait"

Sebastian nodded and laid an arm around the crying boy who had named him. Ciel was first surprised and asked the demon what he was doing. And he got his response. The demon said:

"I will wait for you"

Ciel laid his head on his butlers chest, and pretty soon, he had fallen asleep.

Sebastian petted Ciel on his head. He was glad that the boy finally was asleep. Now his master wouldn't notice how hard the demon heart was beating. Sebastians heart had almost stopped when the boy had started to cry. Sebastian had wanted to just throw his arms around him, but he kept himself in place. Until he couldn't hold back anymore. The demon felt so weird when Ciel had accepted him, and decided to trust Sebastian fully. When Ciel was so close to him, like he was now. Sebastian just wanted to stay like that forever. He just wanted to hold Ciel, and never let go. But telling the boy that, would be dangerous. Especially now when they boy seemed terrified of him and acted like he did. It woulf just get more things on his masters mind. 

"S..S...seb...Sebas...tian..."

Ciel mumbled in his sleep. The butlers face turned red as he heard his name slip the lips of a young boy called Ciel. 

Dirty thoughts.  
Dirty thoughts filled the demon when Ciel called out his name. He already had felt something in his chest when it all began, but now hearing his name get called out, while having his love- uhhh...Young master... Ehehe...sleeping on his chest.   
The man started to feel a twitch in his pants and his face got hotter and hotter. Ad long as Ciel didn't -

The waggon probably hit a rock for something, because it jumped up a bit and bounced right back. It made Ciel wake uo.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

"huuuh....? Did...Did I fall asleep? Im sorry Sebby- I mean! Sebastian..."

Sebastian just sat there, quiet as a mouse. Just whising that Ciel wouldn't notice. But of course he would..  
Damn it 

"What's... Wrong with you...?"

Ciel noticed how Sebastian looked 'down there ' and remember the same thing used to happen for him everytime that he thought about the demon. So...What had happened...while he was asleep? Hmm

"Sorry, My Lord. Nothing. Just..uh...ignore that. You haven't had your first lesson with your biology teacher yet,have you?" 

Ciel shaked his head and Sebastian felt relived. So the boy didn't know about those 'adult' things yet...that was lucky. 

"Sebastian, I read a book. I have heard people talk. Im not that Naive"

Good god could this get any worse?!?!?

"eheheh...reaaaally?"

"Sebastian... Was it Claude again...? Did he get here while I was asleep? Did you think about him? I heard you two...used to be..a...a a-a couple" 

Oooooooh nooooo. Baaad subject.. Baad. Sebastian started to sweat. He didn't want the boy to know about that. If Ciel thought he had been with other demons, Ciel would never be able to love him back.

"My Lord...we are home"

Sebastian avoided the subject and quickly got out to hold the door for hid master. He bowed slightly. 

"Sebastian. You can't lie to me"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told ya I was weird! ;3 so yeah, Sebastian used to be with Claude, and Ciel have heard lots of rumors of that. Ciel even knows about the birds and the bees. Because he resd about it and have asked for example, undertaker about it. But of course, all behind hid butlers back. See ya soon!


	5. The demons and the toy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well fuck. This chapther feels baaad...I don't know, but its pretty filthy language and well..Its just weird! And by the way! Im planning on making the next chapter a bit longer then usual, so it might take some time. And I think I will be having a lot more time to write now since school is over. Yay...But! I will still have lots of things on my schedule. Plus all those 10 fanfics I have started to read, and yet have to finnish. I would love to hear your thoughts about this fan fic. And just a quick reminder! English was not my first language to learn. And I suck at it. But still, they say that we people in Sweden are good with English... haha...I'm not good ;p Well, im trying. Ok, I have been lazy writing this. SORRRY!!!!  
> Gomenesai!  
> (did I spell that correctly...?) 
> 
> So please, tell me! Im dying to hear your thoughts. I want to be able to at least make my fan fics readable... Lol
> 
> And! Im currently working on like. 4-5 more fan fics. But those will take a good while! Since I will release them when the hole fan fic is done. Because I don't like dealing with the stress I always have while working on a project. I don't want to take to much time and bore everyone out...But thats a part of me I can't get rid off. Always... Feeling...stress...
> 
> I have talked to long! Go ahead and start to read. If you want to...

Ciel just walked into his bedroom and laid down on his big bed. Ugh...This was a bad day... The boy wished he could just lay down, and then sleep forever. His thoughts tho. Were not asleep. The day, when he had gone to undertaker, had been a rainy day. Ciel just needed some information about his butler. Why? Just so he could understand the demon a little better. At the time, he had just started to develop feelings for Sebastian. When Undertaker had started telling him these stories... It made Ciels heart sink. 

"Sebastian was not as sweet as he is towards you, Earl. In fact, he liked to mess around. Sebastian then had a relationship with Claude. And oh, that didn't go well. Sebastian liked torture. So he tormented Claude in ways I hope your mind still doesn't know about. Day in, day out. Claude loved your butler so much, that he didn't care about the pain he had to go through. But one day, it suddenly ended. You happened. Sebastian got a new master, and this boy, touched the demons heart. Claude was not very happy, he wanted Sebastian to himself. When Sebastian started to find out about the Jealousy that Claude had, Sebastian told him to never ever again re-apear in his life. And of course, Claude got mad at you, Earl. He wanted revenge. And soon, someone called his name. Alois Trancy. Claude got other things to think about. But the hatred still is there. And, Sebastian, had started to forget Claude. Of course, Sebastian wanted to torment you just the way he had done to the other demon, but when he looked at you, he didn't want to hurt you. At all. He wanted you safe. But he wants your soul. And he doesn't want to hurt you. How do you think thats gonna work out? Well, he had this plan of just going back to Claude when you were dead. And to know more...You will have to pay~ hehehe..."

Ciel didn't really wanna hear more,so he just left. Images of Sebastian tormenting Claude...they kissing...It filled the boys mind. And oh, did it hurt. He could almost hear how the demons screamed as they performed acts that Ciel really shouldn't know about. Ugh... What's wrong with him?

Ciel knew wich acts Undertaker meant. And he understood what happened during them. But what he truly didn't understand, was why they happened. Why did people enjoy them? What even is that type of love? And would he ever be able to... 'test' them with his Butler? 

Ciel just walked towards Undertaker again, and almost yelled right in his face.  
"Tell me more about those acts. I wanna know. I know what people do to each other, I just wanna know why. Not how. Ok?!"

The undertaker laughed as he told the young Earl.

 

 

"Sebaaaaastian...."

Ciel called. The boy was laying spread out over the bed in a very uncomfortable position. But he didn't really care about that right now. All he wanted, was the demon of freaking nightmares, to bring som tea, and then tuck him in into the sheets. Nothing more did he really need at the moment. He waited for Sebastian, but the demon didn't come. Ciel called once more for his butler, and still no answer. 'fucking demon... ' Ciel thought and got out of the bed. He landed softly on his feet and started walking to the door. 

Just when he grabbed the handle, and on his way to open the stupid door, Ciels ears caught the sound of two people talking. The boy stopped in his movements, and started to listen. It didn't take long until he figured out who the two people talking was. One of them, was the butler of the Phantomhive manor. The other one, was the butler to the most annoying boy in history, Claude. 

Ciel was frozen stuck in his place. He clenched his teeth and narrowed his eyes. The words they said, was as cold as the night.

"Go back to Alois and fuck him instead" 

"Not happening, Sebastian. I wanna go back to the good, old days when we messed around just like we demons do. You know, Ciel is a human. A kid. He is unexperienced and will not give you the same satisfaction as I will. I know you want me. Just give up already and follow me"

Ciel started to shake as Sebastian talked back.

"Ciel is young, yes. But, he is not as lame as you may think. He's mine"

"He is weak!"

"Oh no, he is not" 

"Ciel would not even moan, he would be as quiet as a mouse, paralyzed directly after you had laid him down. He would be as quiet as a mouse" 

"Nah, he just walks quiet as a mouse" 

Ciel started to panic when he heard the door click. He started to understand now the choice of words Sebastian had chosen. Because, soon, Sebastian had opened the door to reveal his young master that was standing there. Ciel started to sweat slightly as he looked up on the two demons. Sebastian looked satisfied, but Claude was absolutely shocked. He never noticed that the human had listened to the conversation. 

Ciel gathered his courage and straightened his back. An eye, that had the color of the sea it self, stared on Claude. The boy laid all of his emotions to show. Almost all of his emotions. 

"Well, Claude. I do not appreciate you walking into the manor at this time. Especially when you never even said you would show your sorry ass here. Excuse the language. And I don't like the way you talk about me. Yes, I may be a kid. But still, im not weak. And as long as Sebastian will stay by my side, no one will hurt me. And no, I won't let you have my butler back. At least not until the day when he takes my soul. And just to be clear, Sebastian have no intrest in doing such acts with his lord."

The last sentence was hard to say, for some reason. Why did it hurt? Was it because he literally told Sebastian to stay the fuck away from trying to get in bed with him?! Who knows... And he couldn't decide what intrests the demon. If he thought about fucking his lord, he couldn't really stop him. 

Claude looked back at the boy, with eyes filled of disgust. Ciel understood that Claude really didn't like that attitude from Ciel. 

Sebastian stared at his master with his mouth slightly open. He didn't want to belive what his Young Lord just had said. Sebastian got this feeling, that his lord didn't really trust him. That the boy didn't really understand how he was feeling. But Sebastian thought, that this may be the reason why Ciel was such a mess. 

"Sebastian?" 

"Yes,My Lord?"

"Get me some tea"

"Of course, My Lord"

And so Sebastian left the young boy with the other demon. Ciel kept a straight face. He still was standing in the door, looking at Claude with disgust. The boy moved one leg behind him to keep his balance in case something would happen.  
Claude met Ciels gaze. 

"Ciel, you could prove to me that you are worthy. At least for the time you still will be alive that is"

Ciels raised an eyebrow. "I have no intrest in such acts, Claude!"

"Then don't look at your butler like you so much want him."

Claude took a step closer to Ciel with devilish eyes. Ciel backed the same amount. "Like you want to touch him..."  
Ciels cheeks turned pink at the comment. He didn't like this... Claude took another step and so did Ciel, trying to keep distance between them. But it didn't take long before Claude reached out a slender arm and grabbed the human. The demon flung him against the wall, and holded Ciels hands over his head. The boy started to breath faster as he felt his heart beat grow more and more. He yelped.

"Dont look at him like you want him inside you...The only demon getting inside of you, my dear Ciel. Should be me"

Ciel started to panic, and Claude noticed. So he decided now, he had to act.

Lips met lips, but not in a satisfying way. They were forced. And Ciel didn't like it at all. Claude pressed his body against Ciel who was lifted up in the air a bit. as the human tried to fight against the demon who didn't belong to him, Claude draged his free hand down of Ciels side until he reached the small hips of the boy. Ciel cried out, desperately trying to get the demon away from him. Claude draged his hand closer, until he reached between the legs of the boy. Ciels vission blurred, and he saw flashes of light before his eyes. He didn't like this at all. No, this was so wrong.

"Seb-! MFMM!"

Claude pressed his tongue inside of Ciels mouth when the boy tried to scream for his butler to come. Claude had succeeded. He had full control now. The boy couldn't scream, and probably not even think straight. Claude looked Ciel in his eye. They were filled with hate and anger. But also tears. When the boy saw the flash of light in Claudes demon eyes, he got an idea.

He bit Claude on his tongue, but Claude did not even flinch. He just grinned to Ciel, while getting more rough. The human screamed for his butler in his mind, he so wanted Sebastian to save him from this hell. Claude removed his hand from Ciels thing, and reached for his leg. And before Ciel even could blink, he was thrown up a bit in the air, so that Claude could fit between his legs. The boy with grey-blue hair had his back pressed against the wall. Now he was on the edge to break. He wanted so badly that it would all stop. Any normal person would have cried in fear, but Ciel was raging. 

"My Lord!"

He heard Sebastian call, and soon, Claude was removed from him. Ciel was shaking, both in shock and in anger. His body fell into the arms of his butler. Ciel started to feel safe again, now that Sebastian was there. 

Sebastian stared at Claude with demon eyes that were burning red. Claude had touched his Lord. Not acceptable. And the way he had held Ciel, the way he forced his tongue into Ciel mouth. And just watcing his lord squirm, trying in vain to get away... Even Sebastian was terrified. Oh god how he hated the other demon.

"You interrupted" 

Sebastian found it amusing how the butler of Alois Trancy talked to him about things he did to people that didn't even belong to him. Ciel Phantomhive belonged to SEBASTIAN. And no one else. So what gave Claude the rights to say that he 'interupted'? Anger was spreading through the demon faster then fire ever could. He felt his body burning with the desire to just kill the other demon with his bare hands. At least hurt him until he couldn't walk straight. 

Ciel pressed his small figure against his demon. He felt just like a small child who searched for safety in his mother. Mom...  
The memory flooded through Ciel and he got the urge to put his arms around the demon, and never let go. Ciel laid his head against the neck of the demon, and oh. He fought against the urge to kiss him right there. Every muscle in his body ached. He wanted so badly to taste Sebastian. 

"I didn't interupt. I saved my young lord from getting raped. Now, Claude. Go and fuck your own master"

"I wasn't going to rape him...And not to be rude, but Alois is boring. Ciel proved that he wasn't all to boring. I can go with him too, if you don't want, Sebastian" 

Sebastians eyes had fire in them when his anger turned to rage. He had enough. Just thought of someone else than him, even touch his young lord, made him sick. They shared the contract together. He had even marked the boy as his. That damn Claude wasn't going to take his master away. 

"S-Seba...Stian...s-stop...You're hurt-ing   
Me!"

Sebastian turned to look down on his master. He hadn't noticed, but his hands pressed the boy so close to his chest, that the poor earl were getting crushed. First, Sebastian didn't do anything. He just looked at the boy, thinking that it was cute how the boy struggled. But then he remembered, that Ciel got hurt in the progress. It hit Sebastian, and his grip around the boy got more loose. And Ciel didn't look to happy. Actually, he looked kind of pissed. "IM NOT YOUR TOY YOU FUCKING WHORES TO DEMONS"

Ciel rolled out of Sebastians arms and landed on the floor with a thud. He yelped quiet and his breaths were sharp. As soon as Sebastian opened his mouth, Ciel gave him a death glared. The Earl used his slender arms to get up, and soon he was walking down the hall with rage inside of his eyes. It hurt. It hurt the way Claude talked about him. And that Sebastian didn't even seem to care, scared him. Okay, Sebastian was showing Claude that he belonged to the demon with the purple contract, but he didn't think about the boy himself. Sure, he was a demon and only wanted his soul. But these feelings he had for the demon...They didn't really help. They just ripped his heart apart. Without any mercy. And oh, he suffered. 

Sebastian stared at his young lord walked away from him. That glare had made the demons heart stop. If he had one, that is. Because now, he felt like he betrayed Ciel with everything he did. And Claude was just..smiling at the boy when he walked. It was disturbing. And the Phantomhive Butler was getting tired of this shit.

"You will leave him alone, understood?"

"Oh Sebastian, its not me who will be leaving me alone. He will be staying away from you. And then, I can just snatch him away"

Claude laughed as Sebastian turned his back to the demon, and started walking away to. But the opposite direction from Ciel. Sebastians boots echoed through the hallway and he tried not to break. Claudes laugh filled the hall, and scared the crap out of him. The butler opened the door to his room, and he fell down on his bed. He grabbed the pillow and hugged it tightly. Wishing it was Ciel.


End file.
